Guest blog from anonymous leader of Crux33:
The Face of God
Today I tell of the journey I took while searching for the face of God—too see Him more clearly—to further comprehend His love. It began at first dawn as I was sitting in my family room tearfully worshiping and waiting for God to reveal more Himself to me. Upon closing my eyes, I clearly heard Him say, “Seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” In response I cried out, “God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.” This longing persuaded me to start my search by looking in the sanctuary to see His power and His glory; thus, my journey began.
Upon entering the sanctuary, my eyes were immediately drawn to a magnificent blue, purple and scarlet curtain like veil, hanging from ceiling to floor. Its beauty was breath taking, and I was compelled to approach it. Just as I was within a few feet, a powerful voice came from behind the veil. I jumped back as I head this voice saying, “Come now, and let us reason together, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” The sound of the voice made me tremble, but yet, my heart yearned to see the face of Him who spoke. Reaching out to touch the veil, I saw it had been torn from top to bottom. The edges were jagged as though it had been violently ripped in half. Using both my hands, I slowly pulled apart the torn curtain, not sure of what I was going to see.
With trepidation, I stepped to the other side; I gasped at the vision before my eyes. My feet were standing on a floor of gold so pure that it had the appearance of glass. In it I saw a reflection of what looked like a rainbow. As my eyes moved up—there it was, stunning in its splendor; a huge, radiant emerald arch that shimmered from its own brilliance. For a moment my eyes were so dazzled by its grandeur, I didn’t notice the rainbow was encompassing what looked to me like—a throne.
My eyes where blurry from the brilliance in the room; however, it soon became clear I had entered a most holy place. This throne was high and lifted up with a multitude of living beings adoring and worshiping the one who sat on it. I was awed by a magnificent spectacle of glory and majesty, for He who sat on the throne was the great I Am, the Ancient of Days, whose very robe cascaded down like a waterfall, filling the entire room. His beauty was like a jasper and a sardius stone in appearance. My eyes were riveted. I took a step forward then suddenly—lightening and thunder crashed from one end of the room to the other. It was then that angels began crying, “Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!”
I could not stand; I fell on my face to worship. Instantly, I could see my sin before this holy God as never before; I knew I was undone. Unable to lift my head, I cried out for mercy, for I both feared and trusted this God. As I lay there on the ground, I heard Him speak saying, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart I will not despise.” Therefore, behold He who sits at My right hand; the Son of My love who has redeemed you to God by His blood.”
As I continue to lay face down on the floor, the sound of millions of voices began crying out, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom, and strength and honor and glory, and blessing!” The strength of their voices was deafening; the floor began to vibrate from the glorious sound of their worship.
I wanted to lift my head and gaze at the One who sat at the right hand of God, but I knew I could not look on such holiness without being destroyed. Both fear and wonder gripped my heart; I lay there on the floor shaking. At that moment He began to speak saying, “I am Jesus the Christ the Alpha and the Omega who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. In Me you have redemption through My blood, and the forgiveness of sins. Therefore, rise up now my love, my fair one, and come away. Do not fear, for you are greatly beloved, for from the first day you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your prayers have been heard. I am your shield, and your deliverer. I am the one who lifts up your head; the lover of your soul.” All the while He was speaking, voices on earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea, were crying out, “Blessing and honor and glory and power be to Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, forever and ever!”
My heart melted at His words and I quietly joined the voices of praise. It was then that I noticed I was no longer shaking. Tears began to pour from my eyes as indefinable peace flooded my heart and mind. I dared to look up and was astounded at the vision before my eyes. Brilliant white light reflected off my tears distorting my eyesight; however, I could clearly see a figure of great power, authority and majesty in the midst of the throne of God. Once again I heard many voices crying out, “ He is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war.” I was stunned at His appearance, for His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He wore a robe of pure white, but I could see blood dripping from its hem. Then, something caught my eye; there were words inscribed on His robe: King of Kings and Lord of Lords! The magnificence of His presence was more than I could bear. I closed my eyes to hide from His glory…nevertheless, I had to open them again…I wanted to see more.
Slowly I dared to open my eyes—this time—my eyes met His. The flames exposed my most secret self; however, it was not condemnation I felt—but indescribable tender love. The flames of fire softened into dancing flickers of gentleness and kindness; moreover, a tremendous sense of wellbeing began to overtake me. The thirst in my soul and the longing of my flesh completely subsided. His holiness kept me on my knees, however, His tender, loving kindness kept my eyes fixed on His. Deep within my heart I knew this was what I was created for: to gaze upon, worship and exalt this one before me—the Son of the Living God—Jesus.
I felt desperate to stay in His presence; a sense of urgency began to creep over me; I feared being separated from Him. Then, without saying a word, His eyes ablaze with loving kindness, sparkling with understanding spoke: “Who will separate you from my love? Do you think tribulation, or distress, or persecution or famine, or nakedness or peril, or even a sword?” Now smiling, Jesus spoke this promise to me: “Neither death or life, or angels or principalities or power or things present or thing to come, or height or depth, or any other created thing, will ever be able to separate you from the love of God which is in Me. As the Father loves Me, I also love you.”
Enraptured by this great love, my heart overflowed with thanks giving. I wanted to sing out with praise, and tell Jesus I loved Him above all things. Again, a multitude of voices began to worship and sing, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom, and strength and honor and glory and blessing!” Closing my eyes I joined them in worshiping the King of Kings—Jesus.
Then unexpectedly, I noticed the sound of their worship began to fade into the distance. In addition, the singing was slowing being replaced by a bird sweetly chirping, and the soft ticking of a clock. As I opened my eyes a gentle ray of morning light caressed my face, still wet from tears. These tears, however, were no longer tears of yearning, but of pure joy. Once again, I was in my family room, but now my longing to see more of God was satisfied. I had taken a journey to search with all my heart and soul for the face of God, and as He promised—I found Him.
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